Dominus/ I wish

I wish myself away,

But looking back

I always return

To your silver eyes,

To your sword-backed throne.

I wish I had never known

This emperor

As he is

Proud, steel sharp, and cold

Hiding the heart of gold.

I wish I had never known

This man

Crowned by vines and thorns,

His eyes like the sea and storm,

And heart of the hottest flame.

I wish myself away

And disappear

Under the Roman sun,

Into the haze of grey

Where the light still shines.

I wished myself too close

And paid

The ultimate price

For the touch of hand,

For the love of Rome.

I chose what I never could

While being right

By your side:

The arrows, the pain, the death,

The light of another life.

I chose - but my god was cruel

Demanding me

To obey,

I chose to forfeit the love,

In name of the light divine.

My emperor, my Lord and king,

My sun, please, let me forget,

The touch of your hand,

Your voice

That's tearing my heart apart.

Will you ever let me go,

My emperor,

My one and all?

Dominus, help me stand,

Or watch as Sebastian falls.