No Filter

Reflecting on sentences. Breaking paroles. Validating the truth.

Pressure
building up.
noise
pouring into the ears

no filter

deafening.
roaring
a thousand
broken record
insults
into my ears.

murderer.
freak.
loser
what a bloody
pathetic mess
you are.

no filter.

wheezing
biting
dialed to twenty
thirty
forty
hundred.

no filter.

skinless
pressure thumping
against temples.
raw
visceral.
nerve cutting
brain shattering
cold
hatred
poisoning
every word.

what did I
ever do to you?
let me ask
again.
why did you
hate me,
Mother?
your own son.

no filter.

insults.
taunts.
abuse.
harassment.
torture.
day after day
after year
after decade

no damned filter.

the voice.
following me
haunting me
degrading me
offering
no
fucking
mercy.

no filter.

is it really
my fault?
it hurts
to be me.
a motherless
son
with a mother
still living.

no filter.

skinned alive
by each word
tell me,
Clarnell,
was is worth it?

was it?
dead.
long dead.
give me death
by torture
I don't care.

no filter.

vocal chords
cut out
bleeding
didn't help much.
that voice
still echoes
in my brain

Oh Ed.
what a bloody
twisted mess
you are.

I asked for
death by torture

you gave me

life
by
oblivion